Sex toys have been around for a lot longer than the internet, yet somehow the internet is still full of bad information about them. If you've ever hesitated to buy your first vibrator because you heard it would "ruin" your sensitivity, or assumed toys are only for people who are single, you've run into one of these myths already.
We talked to what the research and sexual health experts actually say, and pulled together the ten myths we hear most often — and the facts that replace them. Whether you're toy-curious or just tired of the misinformation, consider this your myth-free starting point.
Myth #1: Sex toys are only for people who are single or "can't get a partner"
This is probably the most persistent myth out there, and it's simply not true. Studies on sexual behavior consistently find that a majority of people in relationships use toys together or individually, and couples who incorporate toys often report higher satisfaction, not lower. A vibrator isn't a replacement for a partner any more than a board game is a replacement for conversation — it's just another way to have fun together.
Myth #2: Using a vibrator will "desensitize" you permanently
This one causes a lot of unnecessary anxiety. There's no clinical evidence that vibrators cause permanent nerve damage or lasting desensitization in healthy users. Some people notice temporary reduced sensitivity right after extended, high-intensity use — the same way your hand might feel a little numb after gripping something tightly — but it resolves. If you want variety, simply alternate intensities or switch between toys and other kinds of touch.
Myth #3: All sex toys are made from the same material, so it doesn't matter which one you buy
Material matters more than almost anything else on the spec sheet. "Body-safe" materials — like 100% medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic, borosilicate glass, and stainless steel — are non-porous, easy to clean, and don't leach chemicals. Cheaper "jelly" or PVC materials can be porous (meaning they can harbor bacteria even after cleaning) and sometimes contain phthalates, which health experts recommend avoiding. Reading the materials list before you buy is one of the single best things you can do for your health.
Myth #4: Sex toys are only for women
Toys designed for penises, prostates, and every body in between have exploded in variety over the last decade — strokers, cock rings, prostate massagers, and couples' toys built for any anatomy. Pleasure products have never been a one-gender category, and today's market reflects that more than ever.
Myth #5: If your partner wants to use toys, something is wrong with your relationship
Wanting variety isn't a verdict on your relationship — it's usually a sign of curiosity, not a complaint. Sex and relationship therapists frequently point out that couples who talk openly about trying new things tend to report stronger communication and intimacy overall. Bringing up a toy is a lot closer to suggesting a new restaurant than it is to filing a complaint.
Myth #6: You don't really need to clean sex toys, especially if you're using them alone
Cleaning matters regardless of whether you're using a toy solo or with a partner. Toys can harbor bacteria, and unwashed toys shared between partners (or between body areas) can spread infections, according to sexual health guidance from providers like Healthline and One Medical. The fix is simple: wash non-porous toys with warm water and mild, unscented soap (or a dedicated toy cleaner) before and after each use, and always use a fresh condom on a toy if you're sharing it between partners or between different types of play.
Myth #7: Bigger is always better
Size gets a lot of attention, but it's rarely what determines how a toy actually feels. Texture, vibration pattern, motor strength, and shape tend to matter far more for pleasure than sheer size. Plenty of the most popular, highest-rated toys on the market are compact, precisely because control and consistent stimulation often beat scale.
Myth #8: Any lubricant works fine with any toy
Not quite. Silicone-based lubricant can break down and degrade 100% silicone toys over time, causing a tacky texture or surface damage. Water-based lubricant is the safest all-purpose choice for use with most toys, including silicone ones. If you specifically want a silicone lubricant, save it for toys made of glass, stainless steel, or ABS plastic, which aren't affected.
Myth #9: Buying or using sex toys is something to be embarrassed about
Surveys on sexual wellness consistently show toy ownership is mainstream and common across ages, genders, and relationship statuses — this is a well-established, normal part of many people's routines. Discreet packaging and private shipping (like we use here) exist precisely because retailers recognize privacy matters to people, not because there's anything to be ashamed of.
Myth #10: Sex toys are only for solo use
Plenty of today's most popular products — couples' vibrators, remote-controlled toys, and app-connected options — are designed specifically to be used together. They're built to add another layer to intimacy, not to replace it. If solo use is what got you curious, a couples' toy can be a natural, low-pressure way to bring the conversation up with a partner.
The bottom line
Most sex toy myths trace back to the same root cause: silence. Because people don't always talk openly about toys, misinformation fills the gap. The facts are a lot less dramatic and a lot more reassuring than the myths — toys are common, largely low-risk when you choose body-safe materials and clean them properly, and they're for anyone, partnered or not.
If you're ready to shop with the facts instead of the myths, our full collection is organized by category so you can find exactly what you're looking for. New to all this? Start with our guide to choosing a vibrator that fits your body, or brush up on how to bring up trying something new with your partner.
Frequently Asked Questions
Are sex toys safe to use every day?
Yes, for most people, as long as the toy is made from a body-safe material and is cleaned properly between uses. If you notice irritation, take a break and consult a healthcare provider.
How do I know if a sex toy material is body-safe?
Look for 100% medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic, glass, or stainless steel on the product description. Avoid vague labels like "jelly," "rubber," or "skin-safe" without further detail, since these can indicate porous or phthalate-containing materials.
Can couples use sex toys without it meaning something is missing in the relationship?
Absolutely. Introducing toys is commonly associated with increased communication and satisfaction in relationships, not dissatisfaction.